Remember from the first post, the tall girl on the left is A, the foxy lady on the right with the whistle where I want my penis to be is D.
Some brief background from how the rankings worked out over email from some regular participants.
My ranking - B, A, C, D
Token - D, B, A, C
Uncle Broom Salesman - D, B, C, A
I curl 200lbs but only squat 150 - D, C, A, B
Little Chicago - D, B, A, C
Mexican Brando - D, B, tie on anything else
There were several comments made about this photo, but I think judges were just overcome with the general hotness in this picture. Its like that singer on Britain Idol who can sing her ass off, but will NEVER be ranked on whore wars. Its like God was putting her together, gave her a voicebox, a foul mouth, and just threw hair patches at various parts of her body. Jesus f*ck she could sing so well that you forgot all about the fact that the make up people spent about 2 hours trying to get her TV ready and then said "F*ck it, I'm headin to the pub". This picture is just as beguiling in the beginning. Did I use that right? F*ck it, I'm headin to the pub.
OK, I'm back.
Back to comments
"They are all equal and I couldn't argue any order over any different order" - I said this comment would not make the blog, but f*ck it, here's a shout out for you
"You must be high..." - No, I had not smoked and was doing my damndest to stare at this picture as long as I could in my cubicle without some random person walking by and catch me staring at whores on my work computer.
My Analysis of these Whores
Remember, I ranked B, A, C, D. I like B's sweaty, shiny, fake looking boobs. A and C both have super fine bodies as well. I mean these girls have tight bodies. I think A was ranked lower by everyone simply because she is tall. I don't know why guys are scared of tall women. I don't mind them, you don't have to worry about accidentally hurting them and sometimes it feels good to be the little spoon. Their faces are all fairly comparable except for C, but... that brings me to D. Why did I rank her last when everyone else had her first? Because she had too many mashed potatos and gravy the night before. Compared to the others, it looks like this girl has never missed a lunch at Cracker Barrel in her life.
Here's an idea, cut out the chicken fried chicken and sawmill gravy and you might move up a few spots. The reason she is the only girl who can't show her stomach is because she lacks the self esteem around her friends to expose her muffin tops. But thats what anchors do, they bring up the rear. So when it comes down to choosing C or D, I think the choice is obvious. Butterface over Tubby the butter tub any day.
Here, let me blow it up for you.
Do you see what I'm talking about? Is she in her second trimester? There is no way I can put this girl above the others. My ranking method comes with three measurements as follows...
1. How much fun do I think they would be? C'mon, this is whore wars after all
2. How hot are you? You can't win (haha, yeah, "win") whore wars if you aren't hot no matter how much of a slutbag you're trying to look like.
3. How hard are you trying to out whore the rest of the girls? If they're all hot, the whoriest of the whores has to win. Its darwinism at its best.
Therefore, B, A, C, D. In real life, I would never stand a chance, well maybe with the fatty, but on whore wars, I'm taggin in that order.
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